A day came this week that I had been waiting for all winter – mowing season! I love to mow. It’s been ingrained in me since I was a young child. My older brother and I would fight over who got to make the perfect lines in the rich green grass. He pretty much always won because frankly, he was better at it than I was! We also would have contests to see who could mow the fastest. I had to go at a slower speed or else my shorter legs couldn’t keep up with the rabbit speed he put it on. I loved it then and I love it now.
Soon after we bought our first home, my husband pretty much gave over all mowing responsibilities to me. He didn’t have the same silly passion as I did and I was pretty picky when it came to my grass!
So mowing season came this year and I was pumped! But as I began to mow, something started taking place within me – discontentment. The yard was too bumpy. There were too many bare spots. And so many weeds!
When we moved into our new house a few years ago, my sweet Dad felt bad for me push mowing our bigger yard so he gifted me his old John Deere mower, but as I went back and forth in our yard, our neighbor started mowing with his zero turn. His was faster. His could make better lines than mine. And dag on it, he didn’t have to reverse!
I turned the corner to our house where we have a zipline hanging and I scoffed at the dirt track lining the yard from the kids running back and forth. As a heavy sigh of frustration came out of me, wise words came to my mind from a friend of ours –
It just means life is happening.
A few years ago, we were standing in our driveway talking with our close friends and his wife and I mentioned the grey that was starting to streak our hair. He looked at us, smiled and said, “It just means life is happening.” Simple words but words that shifted my perspective when a new grey hair appeared.
Simple words that remind me to keep my feet on the ground and my eyes on what God has given me.
Simple words to get my heart in check when the yard is too bumpy, my mower is not fast enough and the dirt path is long and wide.
It just means life is happening.
I came around to the back of the house where there is hardly any grass left under the swing set and treehouse and instead of scoffing, I repeated the words to myself. It just means life is happening. A shift started. A pivot began. Confession and repentance came forth.
God is so kind to us in that He does not show us our sin in one lump sum. We would be paralyzed by the enormity of it. But He graciously reveals it to us in bite size portions. He pushes our hearts at just the right time with just the right amount of pressure to bring conviction, confession and repentance.
“…God’s kindness leads you towards repentance.” Romans 2:4.
So my question for you is this – is God bringing to mind a specific sin that you are dealing with? Ask God to search your heart and reveal to you any offensive ways within you and then trust Him to lead you in the way everlasting (Psalms 139:23-24). Like it or not, we will all continue to struggle with sin until the day we die, but God is faithful in his kindness to us. May we be faithful in an ongoing posture of repentance.
As I looped the yard again, the dirt path under the zipline didn’t seem so wide and long, the bumps didn’t seem so big and my mower felt just right. Most importantly though, my heart was in a posture of repentance which made way for gratefulness. Those dirt paths were made by my children and neighbor children playing and laughing. Those bumps were made by my loving and handy husband as he did work on the house. And my mower was given to me by my thoughtful and generous dad.
Now, just because I came to a place of gratefulness doesn’t mean that I’m not going to work on that dirt and those bumps! You better believe that I am! But it does mean that when the feeling of frustration and discontentment come up again, because I know it will, I will remember that it’s just life happening.
Thank you, Lord, for your kindness leading to repentance and for life happening.